metamorphosis..

It was a short walk from home to the lab, a short one on a chilly night in eskimo attire..
a walk without a companion beside me or accompanying music..
a walk with my own self..
a walk that made me look back at life since leaving home..
a walk that made me contemplate my home away from home..
a walk that reminded me of my own journey..
a short journey from a girl to a lady..
a journey from childishness to maturity..
a journey that taught me how to cook n clean..
a journey that made me work in labs at 3 in the mornings and take calls from god forsaken strangers in the dead of the nights..
a journey that made me realise the importance of spending 50 cents and the joy of earning a dollar..
a journey that made me hide angry tears and irratioanl fears..
a journey that forced me to kill cockroaches..
a journey that made me cook for others coz i cared..
a journey that got me to swallow my pride..
a journey that pushed to call ma at ungodly hours...just to tell her that i dint mean to shout at her last year..
a journey that taught me joy of sharing, the value of giving, of friendship, of happiness, of dignity, of courage, of pain and pleasure..

in short...it has been, and is, a journey that is teaching me...life...

i got tagged...i got tagged...

Tagged by Karthik

RULE #1
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2
Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

The second on seems a bit tough :( :(

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
conclude tht idiot aint lucky enough to have me in his life...and move on after a few trite tears...

If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
go to Brickman road, meet a person i admire..n stay thr for life..

Whose butt would you like to kick?
tate's...the guy's been assigning monumental amounts of hw..coping up with that has been the only herculean task of late..

What would do with a billion dollars?
save some for myself..(u got to be a li'l selfish..believe me!) and give away the rest to orphanages..those kids out there need tht a lot..

Will you fall in love with your best friend?
nope...pranee is too short for tht!!

Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
being love by someone u dont love is nothing short of a curse coz u know someday, if not immediately, u r gonna break their heart. n tht sucks! loving someone who doesnt love u is worse. heartbreak is horrid i guess!
altho, on a more positive note, if both come together with the same person, it's a once in a life time experience..

How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
a lifetime...sometimes even that would seem trivial.. :)
if he's worth my love, he's worth the wait..

If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
pragmatism demands i move ahead. altho secretly, atleast for my mental satisfaction, i would be iago of othello..plotting tht female's untimely beep beep beep..

If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
getting all the well to do couples to adopt orphans. its a very senti issue as regards me. kids out there, with nobody to take care of them affect me the most..

What takes you down the fastest?
my own tantrums..i hate myself on retrospection after them..

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
a house, a small rose garden or may be tulips, two kids, a steady job that keeps me creative all the time, a daily kuchipudi practise, in-laws n parents living nearby or preferable with me, responsibilities, happiness, few issues, budget plans, lots of love and a guy for whom i previously agreed tht a wait of a lifetime is worthwhile..

What’s your fear?
lizards..
on a more contemplative note, disappointing ma n pa..

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
witty, sweet, brainy and a great friend.. :)

Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
he he...both r horrid sweety..but if i am forced to pick..obs married n poor..

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
by definition, love happens only once. so if i feel i am in love with two ppl simultaneously, then i d conclude i am a female lead in a karan johar's movie or tht i am dreaming after a particularly trying conversation about relationships with pranee.. :)

Would you give all in a relationship?
yes...else the whole charade would make no sense..

Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing she/he has done?
nope...i dont preach forgive n forget...

Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
any day, being in a rel rocks!!! giving love without expectations and getting it back without conditionalities is the single most beautiful thing in life...

right..
so now i need to tag ppl..

i tag..

pranee

rahul pydimukkala

pradeep

sandhya gopalakrishnan

jagan

shashi

pranava

luck to u ppl..have fun..

Turmoil?? Travesty???

its not been two weeks since i ve set my foot into the land of opportunities, when life has seen a plummet into the previous habits. add to that the equivocation of existence and the end result is a chain reaction of events that suck!! imagine exiling oneself for peace, calm and perspicuity and ending up with a deadly combo of a whirlpool and a tornado..

its true what they say abt ttu... here, its possible..
god damn the pejoration.. but honestly, another first time in life.

in response...

capitulation to woes is a very common error in the homo sapien history. being as silly as this race is and assuming a savant title, it has been established that we are the apotheosis of the "know all" in the gamut of life. however, mistakes are common and what is needed in such woebegone situations is to look for help elsewhere apart from our own soul and conscience.

gregariousness is one of the greatest factors which sequesters us to the zenith of evolutionary ladder. hence, making the maximum utilization of this attribute, we try to assuage the pain we feel during our own fiascoes.

consulting a friend in need is not a sin, coz not only does that help mitigate the melancholy but gives a better perception of the existing issue. after all, as the adage goes, "two heads are better than one". although, the catch 22 here is that these arbitrators seeked can either be pea brained themselves or they may astute and perspicacious but highly biased.

in any case, when assistance is required, whatever one receives need not be the final judgment about an issue. it can be but an opinion the seeked espies. after all, u wont be asking for help only to be told what u want to be told. the thing is, u ask for help to discern the other persons point of view and get a comprehensive idea of what is happening.

in case, u r looking for solace, then that has to be stated prior to the discussion which would kill any germinating equivocation from the other side. on the other hand, if that is not the case, then honesty could be called the need of the hour, in which, the shrink should not be vituperated or castigated for elucidating with scintillating clarity, probity and rectitude.

the bottom line to the entire topic is that learning from mistakes is a great experience. Edison could communicate this pretty well. every hardship is associated with a scintilla of hope. seek help, find the right door, trudge the path, fall down umpteen number of times, but have the courage to get up and conquer the world.
:)

in your shoes, my lord... !

for sometime now, disappointment was presumed not to exist : the cynical conviction that each putting in their (maximum or best..???!!!) efforts was assumed to be affection sans affectation (pun intended..in case u dint get it). however, a personal confrontation brought out the hardships involved to keep it going.

every relationship having two individuals always one of them stronger and one weaker. and the weaker is the one who is all the more vulnerable to pain, negligence, suffering and nonchalance. the result would mean that the weaker individual would assume the role of a martyr (albeit subconsciously). this would lead to a lot of skirmishes and bawling.

it is highly important for each individual in a relationship to stand in the other person's shoes and understand the world from their point of view...their dreams, their ideas, their duties and their frustrations...in short, their constraints. if this maneuver is not implemented to the word, the following debacle can be imputed to the highly blown up ego of the weaker one. and that would mean parrying all attempts of patching up initially and fighting demons of past in the long run, looking forward to a lachrymose existence.

slithering away to glory..

at the most, 10 centimeters in length.
sand colored body.
scaled tail.
quadrupedal stability.
clawed feet.
bulging eyes.
sticky tongue.
and the best of the whole thing, is, i envy it.

a gecko living behind my tube light. this mr. (or miss??!!!) gecko has been the reason i have been turning green of late. my avarice aint directed towards its tongue, slime or the reptilian ancestry. its more towards mr. gecko's goals in life. eat, mate and die. great, just great.

wish my life was this tangle free.

wayward caprices----part 2

what am i upto??!!!

long long ago, there lived a dainty princess in a far off land. she was very noted for being multi-faceted. she delved into academia till 3 am in the night, she painted using her hand as the easel, she knitted with the enthusiasm of an 8th month preggy, she cooked with the ardor of a newly wed and... aah...an exhaustive list that was...
but what happened then? ha haa...kahaani mein twist...she met with her match..n puff..all this went into thin air. what is she doing of late? she attends her classes with great difficulty, she's lost her passion in teaching, she stopped cooking. n what happened to her? the princess was lost, lost in lore...infact, she became a paradigm for couch potatoes and gluttons (under the pretense of epicures), gave up her niche, fell off the cliff of achievement, lost her flat abs, endured friendlessness and boredom (vicious combo that one..i tell u!!), gained a double chin n became a roadies fan (screwing up 2 hours per day to reruns of saturday's footage over the entire next week).
viola!!! grrrrrrreat!
and now, as happens in every fairy tale, the princess wants her rightful place...back! so now, the princess arms herself with (a lil dilapidated) self importance, ego and oodles of confidence. its war...and the time has come to salvage the ship...
aye aye captain!!

another karan johar in making..
("oh darling!!", with that characteristic wave of of the hand)..

first it was the right hero and heroine, but a wrong story. then it was the right hero, wrong heroine and right story. next it was the right hero and heroine, but a wrong vamp (and a male one at tht...goodness gracious). next it was a right hero, heroine, story, but bad drama. now, its a boggy soup - wrong hero, wrong hero, no vamp, right setting and a perfect script!
what are we waiting for? the spot boy to show us some lime light and some auspicious muhurt to give us the signal...
Action!!

Odysseys' Penelope..

i just hope Homer wouldnot be turning in his grave for this vapid account of my life, in the name of his characters! anyways, moving on to the actual write up...has anyone ever encountered a live, impatient female, who yearned for being an impatient penelope? historical annals would stigmatize such blasphemy, and still...lo and behold! here i am walking in flesh and blood. i have only four words in return to all the declamation and tirade.
god bless my odysseys.

to be or not to be...

four admissions, all from the top 20 colleges of u.s. of a. any girl's dream come true. and here i am, planning to wake up at 4 early tomorrow morning to be present in the puja room. for what purpose, now i have come down start begging for financial aid. truly, "wishes and water have similar traits...both run in the forward direction"..(plagiarized from "jodha akbar"...translated by her highness...me!!)
ungrateful wretch!

orange obsession..

remember the ad, where all the customers get scared stiff coz the pulp of the oranges in vicinity keeps vanishing? he he...that has become my obsession - minute maid pulpy orange..shake and use. the other one's is lakme sun bloc..effective sun protection with spf 25 (oil free protection) this one was a dream till i decided to indulge n became prodigal, throwing 140 bucks down the drain. now, i am left with a super oily sun ban lotion, that gives even castor oil a complex!
what do u know now? i can go to consumer court for justice??!!!

the nadir

it was a day when nothing would be right. swollen eyes dripping with tears saw the blue beach. everything seemed blank. it was like every other time, screaming a profanity and getting an irritating silence in reply. this time was none the different too. except... everything seemed distant. the night before was a cacophony of sobbing, incessant tears wetting the pillow. that evening was same too. a few mundane questions came forth, a few trite facts repeated, but instead of feeling banal, pathos weighted around the air.

finally, the d-question was sported : "do u need me?"
"ambiguity" came the reply. "equivocation, i can't decide".

the skies were bleak, but there was a yearning for a cloudburst. if only anyone would care to hear the dirge that followed. slowly, the steps were retraced. in spite of the predicament, a lot of indirect servility and begging ensured. but the answer was always the same : "i am not sure. i can't decide".

a rent heart went back into its shell. an elegy was silently playing in the mind. a desire to end all worthwhile tore the being into shreds. albeit consciousness abound, but so was grief. slowly, love saw retreat.

it was a moment when my self-respect lost its existence.
it was a moment when i hated myself the most.
not for getting confronted by ambiguity when i needed love, neither for my servility.
just the fact, that it was a deja vu.
it was a moment i would loathe till my end.
it was a moment i quote as my nadir.